The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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