I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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