We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize