I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
please come you make the beer taste better
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
