yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
