I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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