sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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