If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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