Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
im six kinds of drunk right now
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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