Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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