shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
