i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
