He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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