How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
