Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Randomize
