LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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