he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
