And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
