Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
