I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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