Me. At least after what I've been through.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
