I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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