brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
