I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
