2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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