I cockslap morals
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
