You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm both gender and math confused
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize