yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
