So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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