Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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