Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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