I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
