I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
