Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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