I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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