dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
