I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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