you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize