after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
