More tranny stories later!
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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