People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
