Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
