508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
