Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
