Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
