proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
