mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
me + whiskey = a bad person
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Bring me that man meat
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
