so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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