ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
