she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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