I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
