She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
