I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
