We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
