i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
