i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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