I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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