Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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