I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm determined to sit on that face.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
