dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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