i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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