isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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