I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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